Do0dz, InI was thinking about it today, like, what life is like. From this point onwards, it's deep philosophical shyt, so you dun like, then dun read.



My reminders of Life:



Seeing two black guys fighting on the street when InI was 5 and watching helpless as they lunged at each other with flickknives. And in the end, seeing one lying on the floor with a stab wound in his chest and being one of the only people not trying to help because InI could literally do nothing but watch, because it's like you can feel the worry in the air and almost sense the man on the floor's life flashing before his eyes. And you know that violence will never get anywhere.



Watching a police officer getting hit in the face with a metal bat at the age of 6 outside a gun shop. And how the people who did it ran away, for fear of being caught. And wondering how someone can do that? How can you not feel empathy for ruining a life? Not feeling angry at it at the time, not being shocked, just being a child.



Praying every night from the age of 8 to this day, praying for the people who matter to me, and the people that don't and then being told by the people that do, that InI'm not "Genuine" enough to share RastaFarI beliefs. That InI believe in God purely for image, being told how to believe by those who InI wanted support from the most. And being reminded that InI only bring it on myself, because what is a typically black way of life looks strange on me, and that it's only a challenge of faith to prove to every single person InI meet that InI don't care about stereotype or preconception.



Waking up on a Saturday morning, with the sun in your eyes, to turn around and see 3 of your homies sitting opposite you.. ready to literally pull you out of bed and dress you and go skate with you. Purely because you mean something to them, and just skating with them you can learn more about how they feel when they skate, than you can in a year of talking to them. How the most quiet to the most vibrant people are treasured to you, and how any one of these people will drag you off your ass at 10:30am so you can go push a block off wood onto a ledge all day. Reminding you that spending hours a day flipping and spinning aren't wasted, because your friends are always there. And then getting home and still being able to talk to them on MSN and this site.



Not sleeping on your last night of the holidays, instead spending an entire night under a freezing cold pier wearing one thin t-shirt and huddling round a corner at 4am whilst a mutherfuckin' dog wakes you up by slapping you in the face with it's nuts. But it doesn't get to you, purely because you can watch this vivid sunset come up whilst you eat junk food and listen to each other talk shit and laugh about it. Then, going to sleep at 10am at your favourite skate spot with your friends and waking up 2 and a half hours later to find a ring of your female friends around you all feeding you fish and chips and giving you their clothes to wear because it's obvious you made it through the night on 3 wham bars and a cotton t-shirt.



Waking up with your arms round a girl who levels you emotionally with a stare. A girl who, although doesn't gain you respect from friends, manages to be perfect to you in every way, so it doesn't matter what anyone tells you. Being old enough to know that you care about this girl enough to do anything, but young enough to know that life is going to be full of these experiences. And then, when you're not with that girl, there's a constant smile on your face, because you know you can't help thinking about her, and seeing her again. And then words just leave you, and when your friends say anything to you about anything, you can do nothing but smile and skate... like you're ready to pass out from happiness at any moment.



Breaking so many limbs that you know the names of the people in the fracture clinic at Margate hospital, and laughing your ass off at the irony of sitting in the fracture ward with a "Fracture" deck and clothes covered in your own blood.



Having a grandfather who has done more amazing things in his lifetime than InI will ever do in mine, yet InI only heard of these things when he was being cremated. And standing, watching as he was commited to the flames, and thinking how awesome he was at being able to be so modest and never mention to me once, any one of these things that literally changed the flow of millions of lives.

Being able to write such philosophical, yet self-centered and pointless bullshit without being laughed at. InI know the article's a poor excuse, but no amount of words or actions could ever let anyone know the most beautiful thoughts InI've had, or the most beautiful things InI've seen. It fucking SUCKS that InI can't ever show anyone those once in a lifetime moments at 5am or whenever that are truly beautiful, and make you thank God that you live. The reminders of living that only you experience and can't even start to explain in any way. How nostalgic InI am, because InI'm always looking back on these beautiful moments which could make you cry, because the reminder that your alive is just, like, too strong and overpowering.. how life is great, and any single violent thing towards another life is stupid. How Chris and Joe are both too proud to say the other person's right, just to settle the dispute, even though either one of them may be right.



And the killer, the one big fish, the strongest and most overwhelming reminder of living:



..Life..