Cleverly titled. What's this article about? You got it - bailing, slamming, not making it, slipping off, screwing up. What it is, how to recover/avoid it altogether. Wuula.




THE INJURIES



• Runoff/Bail - Where you simply jump off your board whilst it rolls off or spins away from you. The Runoff can be described when you bomb a hill, get speed wobble so you jump off and run down the hill. If you go too fast, your legs can't keep up with the speed when you run off and your feet can't keep up with your torso so..yes...you meet floor.



• Credit Card - You screw up a flip trick or ollie over something or the pop goes wrong, basically the nose/tail of the board goes to your arse/weiner and SWIPES. Or where you land on the board so it goes straight up...like a reverse turd.



• Road BURN - You fall off the board in any scenario and the friction of you sliding across the ground rips off layers of skin. Usually resulting in small little cuts or scrapes, unless high speed burn. Usually re-rips cuts open, which is annoying and all.



• Shinners - Yes! InI'm the shinner master of pain. It's where the board comes into your shin and thus, causes a bruise. This means that that spot is a danger area after that, so if you keep shinning the same area it gets MORE and MORE painful.



• Snakebite - Like a shinner, but to the ankles. Sharp snakebite from the nose of your board can catch you off guard and drop you to your knees in a fit of pain. Still got an old snakebite on my ankle from about a year ago, proving that pointless small injuries really do stick.



• Materialistic Death - Where you got something in your pocket or the like. Say a walman, wallet, skate tool or whatever and whilst your doing a trick it hits you in a place and puts you off, causing you to fall on your face.



• Ditched - Where you roll up to a stair/gap/rail and hit a rock which stops your board completely, sending you INTO/OVER the object to your demise. Common on flat where the board stops if you ride over small rocks/kirbs.



• Wheel Grinding/Butter Death - Where you grind a rail/ledge and your trucks don't go on but your wheels do so it goes faster than you expected and slips out from underneath you. Or Butter Death, where someone butters the ledge in wax so you have no idea how slidey it really is so you go too fast and achieve the same slipping out effect.



• The Sex Change - Landing a gap/stair/trick with one foot on the board and the other on the floor so you do the splits and lose feeling in the man parts.



• Shock Impact - Jumping/bailing off the board over a drop/stair so you just land flat on your feet and the bottom get heel bruising.



• Sacked - Landing on a rail on your nuts. Getting sacked = landing on nuts = pain. Period.



• Skipping - Jumping on your board to roll up to a trick/run and skipping into it so you don't jump on it, just around it or something like that so it stops and you just fall over. Rarely painful, always humiliating.




THE RESOLUTION



• Ignorance is bliss - metaphorically speaking. Like, when you bail and you're falling...if you turn your body BS so your back faces the direction your falling then you can slide back and absorb the shock. Don't attempt on large gaps/stairs, though as you'll probably smack your head on the concrete backwards.



• Commando Roll - using your hands, flatten them on the ground so you can spring onto your shoulder or your side so you can roll and thus completely minimize shock and impact. If you roll hard enough you can simply roll back onto your feet and avoid pain completely. Wuula.



• The Knee Slide - On a transition, if you're wearing knee pads then you can learn to tuck your legs under your arse so you can slide on the pads, thus earning NO friction and no pain. If they're shitty pads, though, the shock may still hurt yer patellas.



• The Sweep - One foot out to the side and you slide on your arse, so if you don't have pads then the muscles in your arse take a lot of friction whilst your shoe slows you down. Works on the deathboxes.



• Chilling - If you've fucked up and you're on the floor, it might be a good idea to just stay there on the floor and chill for a minute or two so your body can cool off. Getting back up immediately can sometimes shock the nerves and make you go numb in areas (read this off a site).



Thanks for reading meh babble, hope it helps.